i called him pencil dick in front of over half of his fraternity brothers...
...never gotten so many high fives in my life! fuck ya i win!
so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
Well he paid for dinner, so I paid for the Plan B, but the parking ticket I got is totally his responsibility.
Walk-of-shaming home in that dress you got arrested in. Six guys called out your name when I walked past. I've never been more proud of us.
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
I just realized that with the new snapchat update / emoji sticker thing I can now use easily use emojis to cover my boobs in nudes.
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
Comedy Central is in dire need of more sitable faces late at night - Trevor Noah has a baby face - there are federal rules against those types of sexual fantasies
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
Cancel your plans for the fourth someone is streaming iron chef on twitch
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