what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
Starting drinking whiskey at eight. Already had ten girls looking up my kilt to make sure I'm wearing it right.
Speaking of roommates, Kelsey and I woke up to urine in our trash can. Neither one of us is willing to admit to it so we've come to the conclusion that someone snuck into our room in the middle of the night
you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop
I didn't notice because vodka
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
I was a plus one at an intervention for a person I didn't know.
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
so in 24 hours i have gotten caught having sex in my car by a cop, almost burnt off my vag, almost got hit by a semi, and got fired. awesome.
Let’s be real here. NOTHING says Real Adulting like rolling a J on your line of credit paperwork.
Randomize
