he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
Planned Parenthood should have gift certificates.
My aunt totally just drunk dialed me when i was super stoned, it was so intense
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
I wish someone would just come knock on my door and fuck me already so that me and my stuffed animals aren't the only ones who see my amazing spring break tan. I'm not getting skin cancer so I can just sit here abstinent.
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
No way in hell. Unless I was drunk Tindering again....my swiping finger gets drunk too I guess
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
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