I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
As a general rule, drunkenness and gymnastics do not mix.
Math equation of the day: 4 waffles + 1 bowl of weed = 1 terrific nap
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
I was just laying in bed wondering if there's more important things in life than cheese stuffed pretzels.
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!"
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
After I'd been making out with her for a good 15 minutes some guy yelled "grab this chicks beer she needs both hands!" And he was right I did need both: god bless jello wrestling.
what better way to celebrate the birth of jesus christ than to get embarrassingly intoxicated and make poor decisions!?
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
I know you would never do it--but if I ever walk into your house and find a "live love laugh" ANYTHING, I will commit you to an asylum. If it is a vinyl decal adhered to the wall, I will just smother you myself.
Randomize
