I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
he broke up with me so i peed in his bed
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
He got me an interview at his law firm and his boss asked him what he had to say about me. His response "He dates CRAZY bitches."
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
You know what's soul crushing? Walking to subway and find out you were too drunk to put on shoes and being denied service.
Um. I literally have no words.
Better than last year. I didn't wake up to an after thanksgiving human shit on my living room floor. I think it's a sign I'm growing up at almost 30.
You're like my zumba instructor for alcoholism right now
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
fyi my negative pregnancy test is taped to the fridge...i'll take it over an A+ any day. be proud.
Be there in a sec. We have to stop at Target to buy her underwear first.
After we finish having sex, he smokes an honest to God pipe. It's like fucking a big, sexy Sherlock Holmes...
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