Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
i'm unexpectedly in a limo, eating poutine. the driver just offered me coke. good idea?
Big sunglasses are the new paper bag
ya. and they're way easier to confince girls to wear during sex
i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
I passed out in all my clothes. like my purse too..and with a cup of water next to me..and my last tweet last night was "Bye."
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
I can't tell if I'm still on the hangover from last night, or if I'm experiencing the one from tomorrow, because it was so powerful that it actually traveled back through time...
My vagina is no longer accepting new clients.
I don't like pregnant me. I eat very large burritos, I don't like having sex and I can't even finish a Blue Moon.
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
I just don’t understand what sort of USPS worker wants to take my unitard and sex toys.
i feel like the girl with kaleidoscope eyes except the kaleidoscopes are sparkly butt plugs
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
Randomize
