took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
I was so proud to be driving sober that I wanted to get pulled over so I could tell the officer I hadn't been drinking.
surprisingly organic peanut butter is not the best chaser
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
Thank you for caring about my cervix.
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
as a side note pls kill me
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
I’M PUT OFF FROM FOOD RN BC EARLIER I GOT SOME WATER AND I WAS 4 SIPS IN WHEN I NOticed A FUCKING BURGER KING F R Y IN MY D R I N K
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
I feel like that japanese guy who ate all the hotdogs. Except replace hotdogs with sailor jerrys. And instead of a trophy and world record I just get a hangover at work
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