walking home from your place the other day I saw a man with a ponytail sitting on some church steps petting a plant
he should get drunk with us
One of my bosses just told me she's having communication problems because mercury is in retrograde this month. I think she's serious.
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
I just recycled a years worth of liquor bottles. I can feel my alcoholic carbon footprint shrinking
I may have been hammered and in a wheelchair but I definitely remember asking the hospital reseptionist to marry me
wait do you know what youre gonna say if they ask how youre getting back?
yes. helicopter.
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
you are the root of all my greats nights and my worsts decisions
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
Randomize
