I just walked into his bathroom to see two poops floating... no toilet paper. WTF!?
"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
I just jerked it so loud the neighbor banged on their floor. maybe my wife got the point
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
He fell asleep in the strip club and they paid some stripper $20 to sit on his face until he woke up.
Don't byou dare ruin egg salad by putting your penis in it that would be so sad.
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
Sorry I wore your bra during sex last night
You added his wife on Facebook?! You're horrible at this mistress thing
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
Randomize