I just called a phone sex line and you know what I did? I sat there and cried
He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
i just got a fart via voicenote. blackberry has officially changed history.
I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
You stole my camera, took a picture of yourself and said "that's beautiful, just as beautiful as our waitress".
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
Randomize
