the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
Treating myself to outback while reading the entire manual that comes with my birth control in public. Is this what single has come to?
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
I'm a hopeless romantic with the sex drive of a married politician. IM DOOMED.
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
There is a man in my bed with "new zealand" tattooed on his back. Wtf happened last night?
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
I swear my vagina needs to be taken away from me when I drink.
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
Randomize
