im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
I intend to get homeless drunk
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
We found her on the trampoline. She told us she was jumping so she could puke & rally. I think I want to marry her.
I just came so hard there were tears. Actual tears.
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
My new roommate is one of my Tinder matches... It is so on.
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
My sex life reached a new low tonight: we stopped into this bar so I could pee and when I got out of the bathroom my parents had ordered a round for us and this traveling nurse they met and were trying to run game for me. Saddest part? She was actually going for it.
I’m getting back at my ex and training my new boy toy how to properly satisfy a woman. I’m killing two birds with one dick.
Randomize
