he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
She volunteers at a homeless shelter. You volunteered to drink 7 day expired milk for $3. No chance. Give up.
What's a "vodkaffle"?
It's where she puts vodka in the waffle mix.
It was a new level of awkwardness and terror. The high schoolers you fuck in the summer should never introduce themselves to your mom and godmother
To my wonderful winter break booty calls: thank you for making this holiday season enjoyable. I look forward to seeing you boys again this summer.
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
Good morning! Just thought I'd give you my yearly reminder that we lost our virginities 7 years ago, yesterday.
That's the best creepy text ever.
People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with
That tampon felt like a stick in my vagina, I am never making a drunken tampon choice again. Friends don't let friends choose tampons drunk.
I fell asleep with a half eating burrito in my hand and woke up to cat vomit with burrito in it.
How far are you from my house? Do I have time to masturbate before you get here?
Oh shit. My bra is undone and I'm pretty sure I peed on my sandal
You took your shirt off at the bar, handed it to a girl, and made her wash your dirty shirt on your washboard abs
tuesdays get the best of me...
Randomize
