Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
Life lesson: when driving and throwing up, choose a paper bag over plastic. Fuck my life.
why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
We got so high we made milksteak
Best. Handjob. Ever.
I'm guessing Kelly is over?
Nope. Home alone.
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
Too many sundays start with me waking up still drunk in my car.
He told everyone he was freezing their keys so they couldn't drive drunk. When I opened the freezer this morning, my keys were at the bottom of an unfrozen ice cream tub of vodka.
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
PS: when I ask you if I look fat in a a dress DO NOT TAKE YOUR SWEET ASS GAY TIME to formulate an answer only to tell me in front of our family that perhaps I should buy Spanx. Do you WANT me to tell mom and dad you suck cock? Then be a good brother and have the common decency to LIEEEEEE!!!!
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
Randomize
