i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
What tipped you off? The sombrero?
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
Bring my lunch to work in liquor store bags is doing nothing for my career
Did I crawl through the hotel lobby all the way to our room?
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
Goldenshlager is a hell of a drink. And these are the adventures ur missing out on w me. I gave someone a bath Emily. A BATH.
Awkward
Can't say I wouldn't let it happen again.
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
I will pay you in sex, beer and popcorn if you will come fold my clothes for me.
Add free use of your panini press and its a deal.
Deal.
I'm thankful I didn't get drunk and shit my pants this year. 🦃
LISTEN TO ME! DONDE ESTA LA FUCKING VICODIN!
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
The streets are paved with hand jobs
Randomize
