Can you please tell me why there's a bottle of urine on my night stand with a note that says "in case you're thirsty in the morning"? Thanks.
Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
There is a bruise on my cock the size of a golfball. Bad sign.
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
Drinking with birthday clown in the backyard shed at a 5 year olds birthday party at 12 in the afternoon. My life doesn't need any adjustments
Brought 2 entire pizzas with to the bar, everyone loves us
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
Well I didn't spend $7 on an Uber just to get limp dick
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
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