there is a school bus full of santas parked in front of the liquor store
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
Worst part of St. Paddy's...me drunkenly crying to a U2 cover band.
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
In less than 24 hrs I went from conversing with Nobel Laureate, to hangover vomiting in front of a drive thru cashier
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
I've finally done it. I finally achieved my lifelong goal of becoming that awkward lesbian in high school who went on to have sex with more women than any of her male classmates.
So glad I can hide money in my wallet and drunk me is too stupid to find it. Hangover sushi ftw.
I knew it was all downhill from there when the straight vodka I was drinking tasted like water.
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
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