he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
Can we please get through at least one night out when you DON'T threaten to have sex with one of my parents?!?!
Use "feeling words"
Yay
Thanks for the morning blowjob. Scientifically proven you can't have a bad day if it starts with a blowjob.
It's pretty telling that my resolutions all involve who I will sleep with in 2014.
It's important to play to your strengths.
Of all the things I've masturbated to while high, my favorites are ritz chips and trees
Your favorite boobs are sending you seasons greetings
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
Randomize
