So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
you can't just make up for the fact that you broke up with me by tagging yourelf in my embarrassing facebook videos of you
You walked in on me taking a shit and told me to hit the bong
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
This baby is an asshole
You'll have to pretend I'm texting you with buddychecks.
Like the Jimeny Cricket of cockblocks.
I'm drinking straight vodka and railing lines of adderall while writing a paper about the nature of Jesus. It's 6:50 in the morning. College.
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
I think I'm just gonna exercise my lungs and fingers. With bong hits and crochet. BECAUSE I AM A REAPONSIBLE ADULT DAMMIT!!
I've decided if you aren't here in fifteen minutes I'm leaving you for Mario the 75 year old Colombian bartender.
What! I said that you would fall in love? See I know better. Dark liquor makes me think everything is a dream. I barely remember saying that
the good news is I finally used my captain america waffle maker to make captain america waffles
I just thought that if your brother was ever going to invite me over again, he probably shouldn't catch me fucking you in his bathroom.
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