...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
I showed my boss the "She Wolf" video. He sent it to all his friends and told me to make us martinis...thanks Shakira and keep it up
i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
I'm riding in a wheelchair, being pulled by a golf cart. You need to be here.
Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
In line at the grocery store. The girl ahead of me is in a wetsuit and just bought 3 cases of beer and a bottle of vodka. I want to go where she's going...
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
This is your morning-after text courtesy of your very confused friend!! :) To discuss "what the hell were you trying to tell me last night," press 1. To laugh over your drunken antics, press 2. To pretend like none of it even happened (or to respond with concurrent confusion because you have no idea), press 3.
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
Celebrated Veteran's Day by getting a Marine (who just got back from deployment in the middle east) drunk and laid for the first time in 6 months. #Murica
Randomize
