Dual....:-)
So, I'm about to rent a movie, order pizza, and use my vibrator.... Am I dating myself?
i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
you know what would be great? if dirt tasted like steak and could get you drunk.
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
When I look at old family photos I know how jessica simpson feels when she watches dukes of hazzard
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
It's 11am on 4/20 and I'm already in urgent care.
You do realize how pathetic it is when the woman who does your bikini waxes has seen your vagina more than I have
Your next boyfriend should be from MENSA...you're so smart, it's intimidating as fuck. My penis retracted in fear.
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
I tried to get more sleep but the universe decided I needed a drunken freshman instead
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