I got her a Nickelback box set.
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
I can't see straight with both eyes and ive only been at the bar for an hour. Someone else typed this for me.
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
It's gonna be ok. As we grow older we sometimes lose sight of what's important to us. Like safe sex. And standards.
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
Instead of a fine and a few hours in jail he chose to get tasered, break his neck and shit his pants
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
If not, I can murder my liver twice...it's like a cat, it has 9 lives
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
Randomize
