And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
It's an open bar on a yacht... I'm going to drown.
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
Couple of things: my nipples are blue and knowing that at some point I'm going to have to poop is incredibly terrifying
I asked him if we could hang out sometime when we weren't hammered. He said he'd email me his number... that's when I knew I was going to die alone
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
Jenna, I'm going to use all my homosexual powers to steal him from you
Austin, I will climb on top of your shoulders and slowly suffocate you with my vagina
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
YAY! I just removed my own stitches, and I'm only bleeding from one spot! on a related note, do you think a dishwasher will sterilize forceps and trauma shears?
the worst part about living alone is not having other peoples snacks to mooch off of when you havent gone grocery shopping in three weeks. i'm so pms-y i'm about to eat a soy sauce packet
I found a 9 minute video on my phone of you singing into an eggplant.
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
Randomize