I just saw a hot homeless man
He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
I almost just texted "I'm lonely" to my gynecologist.
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
This is the third time this month a guy I’m not dating has dumped me. How is this even possible???
If you left your bike out in front, I just watched some dude steal it.
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