If penises could fly, my ass would totally be an airport.
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
Have u Seen that eharmony commercial where the guy goes " I don't know how I could love her anymore, but tomorrow I will'. Yeah that guy should kill himself
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
His pillow talk sucks. It was like Mr. Roger's vagina.
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
Because you touch yourself at night.
...What time of day am I supposed to do it?
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
I just woke up butt-naked in bed with a guy I've never seen..I reached into my bag next to the bed to get my phone and found a bag of shrooms, a handle of vodka, and 600 dollars that I've never seen. what do I do
enjoy it.
Randomize
