I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
I'm trying to figure if this dude sitting in his car with the door open is dead or just sleeping. Someone was probably wondering the same thing bout me 20 minutes ago. Your meeting is taking a ridiculous amount of time.
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
Well you were listening to music and having sex really loudly. How was I supposed to know you'd hear me making rocket sounds?
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
I had sex upstairs in my parents house, and my mom texted me and said "those raccoons are out of control in the walls."
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
Oh my god I need an adult
Wait shit I am an adult
My mother just set me up with the son of the man I fucked last weekend. I could crawl under a rock and die OR I could remember the rules of genetics and hope that JR takes after daddy. Wish me luck...
Randomize
