Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too?
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
you literally pushed me forward in the seat so you could puke behind my back without the cabbie noticing..
He's coming back with me for the week. It took me saying "I don't wanna drive myself home... I'm better as a passenger giving road head" for him to jump at it. Rack another one up for my magical openings.
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
Bobbing for jello shots in a bucket of long island. Fast track to alcohol poisoning.
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
I fucked R2D2 last night. I consider Star Wars day a success.
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
He is married, and has a regrettably large penis. I need to find another one right away to get myself out of this mess.
How big does a penis have to be before it becomes regrettably so?
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
Randomize
