You wouldn't stop asking the hibachi cook if his knife was a hattori hanzo
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
An accidental pregnancy to a guy with a trustfund is no mistake. It is a gift from god.
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
He needs to seriously stop texting me at 3am for sex. Late night and early morning hours are for the guys who DON'T bust a nut in the first 5 minutes of making out.
Yeah minute men are best for late afternoons when you're inbetween running errands and have nothing to do.
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
When you make me feel sane and well-adjusted, it is time to reevaluate your night out habits. Just sayin'.
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
The drag queen you used to date and the girl you brought over last night are discussing your sex noises in my living room. I'm changing my locks.
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
My breath smells like gin and sadness
Randomize
