his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
She never called back. Financed a fleshlight.
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
Driving to get a preg test with my ex, wearing my unicorn hat
You are so not ready for motherhood
Target doesn't accept your signature for your credit card if you draw a dick on the pad. Even of your name is Richard.
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
My vagina still hurts from yesterday. That's the last time I think riding a mop bucket is a good idea. Don't let me do that again
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
I don't wanna be 33 that's when Jesus died
Randomize
