I admire a woman who can maintain dignity while puking after too much whiskey
Found a waterbottle filled with a bloody mary in my purse this morning. Blacked-out me is always trying to help hungover me, it's so cute.
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
just drew up plans to mow my front lawn into the American flag for world cup. that high and patriotic.
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
If you bring me a slurpee and advil I will eat you out for like an hour.
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
Well the nurse forgot to take all my stitches out, so my surgical tools are peroxide, kitchen scissors, fingernail clippers, a pocket knife, and 11 beers. Let's do this...
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
I've slipped into the part of my life where I am not having sex to get Phils tickets from this chick. I need to seriously rethink my life decisions
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
How do you forget making out with a coworker in the dressing room at Sears on more than one occasion?
...object impermanence?
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
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