I just tried to drunkenly fart the beat of Disturbia by Rihanna
Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
he made me salute his american flag boxers before i took them off
You hit on the cop telling him you were celebrating the anniversary of your 21st birthday and ur boob job... That's how he got ur #
ah tequila...
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
I will forever be haunted by the image of you hurrying to finish your Jimmy Johns sandwich in the Taco Bell drive thru so you could proceed to order $17 dollars worth of shitty Mexican food.
Like, actually questioning if you ate dog shit last night
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
It was like die hard. Except with more penises.
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
Did anyone see us fucking last night on the giant turtle outside downtown Disney?
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
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