there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
You slow clapped the stripper last night.
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
You made me take a photo of you under the stairs at the bar. "Look I'm Harry Potter."
On a unprofessional note, there's a new girl in photo.
That wasn't unprofessional. The fact that I'm going to fuck her is unprofessional.
My autobiography will be 500 pages of the words "I probably should've thought this through" typed over and over.
My fuck buddy just proposed... Correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't that completely defeat the purpose of FRIENDS with benefits?
Now you can be friends with Insurance Benefits.
MASS TEXT: Next weekend I will be in town for St. Patty's day. There will be a bonfire and liqour olympics. We will have booze but in order to participate it is byob. Upon arrival everyone will be asked to sign a waiver. I am not responsible for liver failure, death, loss of clothing or memory, bites, scratches, hickies, pregnancies, or any other for of injury you may obtain while participating. There will be ridiculous amounts of green glitter, be prepared to puke it up. ALSO WEAR SOMETHING GREEN OR YOU WILL BE PENALIZED!! AUTOMATIC 5 SHOTS. HAPPY GAMING!!!
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
Randomize