I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
You opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a wall last night.
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
I can't break up with him, I ran the math. Taking into account his 7 inch penis and the standard deviation from average, almost 90% of guys should have a smaller penis than he does.
Really? Penis math? This is why guys shouldn't date female engineers.
It's ok that you're screwing someone else while trying to get back with me, I'm banging three girls while I ignore you.
I'm FaceTiming Pizza Hut.
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
He sent me a blank text message. That's a booty call waiting to happen
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
I fucked him on shrooms. His dick looked like a missile and he had snakes coming out of his ears. It. Was. AWESOME!
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
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