needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
She's popping painkillers like they're tic tacs and singing the soundtrack to dreamgirls. It's you're turn to babysit her.
seeing two freshman taking a cab home at noon on a Monday makes me realize how much worse my life choices could have been
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
I was so hungover at work I had my shirt on backwards. I had no idea how I managed to get through today puke free.
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
Accidentally made a bowl of macaroni and cheese with a bottle of vodka. It's not that bad
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
I didn’t want to see that boob. I told her not to show me but she said “no, I’m going to show you”
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