My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
Well the pizza delivery man was either startled or incredibly intrigued to see me skateboarding in the living room by myself at 1 in the morning in ripped pantyhose
This is your morning news. Today at 5 pm I will be going out of town until the 29th. If you would like some great sex before I leave, please contact me. The available packages are: a house call, an outdoor excursion, or a delivery style in-car quickie. available only while supplies last.
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
I'm sorry you caught us fucking in your bathroom. If it makes you feel any better when I tried to put my pants back on I dropped them in the toilet.
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
did you just send me my own nude
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
I was sitting here smiling wondering why i'm so fucking happy at work. cookie has kicked in
What's the rule for getting in fights with homeless men in suits?
Here's a rule: don't
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
Randomize
