Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
Princesses don't give blow jobs
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
Next person that gets my dog drunk is paying to have my carpet cleaned. I am tired of getting up to pee and stepping in dog barf.
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
Apparently I made a stripper cry last night when I paid her $10 to go away
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
You need to call dibs on the blond with the tits. It's your birthday.
Haha hell yea
Because if someone gets to see those.. It should be you. It's like God telling you Happy Birthday.
At one point 12 people dressed in care bear onesies were up on stage grinding super nasty, and two of the girl Care Bears were making out.
If this wasn't a hallucination, we need to go to this magical kingdom every night of the week.
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
Randomize
