you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
Mom just Facebook checked into an Applebees at 2am. Caption: ''WITH THE BESTIEZ.''
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
I don't think it's considwred fine dining when you're passing out at golden palace in chinatown at 4 am with you boss who happens to be wearing a dress.
At one point I was giving him a handjob and I started singing Call Me Maybe
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
After the 3rd shot, she was running around singing, "Twinkle Twinkle Big Ol' Dick, on your happy place I'll sit" to your brother.
Put that bitch's torch out. She's been voted off.
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
After an hour of searching for my pants, we had three people looking. They were finally found in the oven.
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
Dude you were so wasted you thought a fake electric candle was real and tried to light your cig with it. Multiple times.
Randomize
