YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
Flying into Chicago for a few days, getting re-deployed in September, we should probably fuck
Kristina got the same text from you just now, she's sitting next to me, how many people did you send this to?
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
Think of this as an opportunity. Like Jesus just opened up his closet, and inside is an endless supply of huge, beautiful cock.
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
Never thought I'd say this but the maple syrup flavored vodka probably wasn't our best idea
I don't care what the Chinese zodiac calendar says . . . 2015 is the year of the cock!
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
He left me alone in a hotel room my last night in town to go home to jerk off and watch TV. So yeah, I guess we're not really friends.
Remember when you gave their 80 year old doorman a line of molly at 5am?
They just made me take another shot and I found out the liquor store next to my brothers house has a petting zoo
Mind. Blown.
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
Randomize