that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
Haha so you are never gonna want to meet my mom now...she just found your thong in her front seat
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
WHAT? When did I ever refer to one of my past hookups as "the rainforest guy"?
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
Dude you missed it. This guy in the liquor store knocked over a whole display of 5 hour energy with his face.
How the fuck you gonna play love don't cost a thing in a strip club?
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
When I get off work and you're not around to hang out with all I do is lay around in my underwear and eat potatoes.
I need to align my fucking chakras
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
Randomize
