Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare.
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
i think I'm just gonna buy a new vibrator, body pillow, some guys cologne to spray on it, a life time supply of wine and weed and be done with all this shit
If I could drive and get you Starbucks I would... But that's probably not a good idea. On account of the drugs.
That moment when your whole family facetimed you just moments before you threw up all over the entire living room
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
8 stitches. Next time I decide to twerk while doing a keg stand, stop me.
Did you ever think you lost your bong and then you find it in the weirdest place? I mean, who leaves their bong in the shower?
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
He was semi blacked out in the hallway with a bucket, calling for me while I had sex with his best friend in the very next room. Why do you let me do these things?
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
Last night was a bad idea. I'm hungover and the contents of my purse smell like Korean BBQ.
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