Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
i'll never see her again. i cant remember her last name. this is like cinderella except prince charming drank too much jameson and couldnt save a phone number properly
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
Are you drunk? Because I am and if you're not, this may be very awkward in the morning
Thats for me to know and you to find out.
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
STOP SETTING ME UP WITH GUYS YOU MEET ON CRAIGSLIST
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
Don’t judge me
Some of us don’t have access to dick on a constant basis
Randomize
