I'm a grown ass woman and I'm sitting in bed eating pizza at 4:30 a.m. BFD, right?
Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
So i realized that if i bought everything from my google search history for the past week i would have a dolphin, a wolf costume, a unicorn costume, a katana and a bullet proof vest. Not sure how the dolphin would fit in but the rest of it would end up in one awesome night or someone would die. Either way i say we do it.
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
we were at work and Infront of the whole bar you yelled. "JAKE I WANNA GET FUCKED TONIGHT!" Us day drinking > everyone else
I would like you to know I am eating your apology chocolate, which means i forgive you for puking everywhere before formal
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
Okay, so when I go to meet your grandma, let's do a quick cum check to we don't have another "what's that on your face?" situation.
The only words we could get out of him as he stared catatonically into space were "Everyone I know and love is dead"
Randomize
