I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
Me. You. Shitty green clothes from Savers that we will dub alligator costumes. Middle of the quad tomorrow at noon. Bring your alligator voice and the pearls before swine comic.
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
I'll be there. With Doritos and whisky. Don't expect much more.
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
Dad stumbling and puking in the White Castle parking lot = Father's Day success
I am laying in your bed and just found a bottle of wine under your pillow ...should have married you...
Next time I try to break into the police station drunk, please stop me.
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
A drag queen just ate a dollar out of my ass. I don't know which one of us has hit rock bottom
Randomize
