puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
I woke up on a futon in some strangers house. They were eating pizza and told me everything was going to be fine.
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
whose parrot is this?
He wants me to tell you "my boner misses you"
I wish you looked at me the way you looked at my brothers penis
Drinking from the bottle. In bed. Making dinosaur noises. Oh man.
Sometimes having a penis is like having a really stupid drunk best friend. You see it doing dumb shit but you're just not the one in charge.
It's probably not a good thing when it isn't even 6:30 and I've already drank an entire bottle of wine. By myself. I'm watching Spice World and I just bought 2 Spice Girls albums off itunes.
Make that 3 Spice Girls albums.
will you help me invent vagina-safe pop rocks?
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
Randomize
