My penis looks like a roll of pennies
Oh. Ok. I get the hint.
Like a roll of pennies where the paper got wet & then dried all wrinkly and weird...
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
i'm just going to get a pitcher of margarita. sober up by 10. and then do my accounting project
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
There's nothing more awkward than going on a beer run with 3 ten year olds....teacher of the year right here!
How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
Randomize
