The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
splinters make it hard to masturbate
did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
I apparently used the line "I'm a bouncer too so i would know if I were too drunk" then they asked me to leave.
Cuz I feel like I ate the whole candy isle at 7/11 last night and chased it with rum
You pretty much did tho
The cleaning lady has moved my vibrator twice now so I would say I'm pretty ready to move out.
It's election day and I was just tied up with an American flag scarf
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
Randomize
