Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
She fucked me because she said I looked like Neil Patrick Harris
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
Can you bring home an IV stand and an empty bag so I can direct inject coffee for work tomorrow morning?
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
who gets drunk at chipotle by noon and then gets kicked out? this chick.
I would have wore underwear last night if I knew I had to change a tire this morning
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
Randomize
