Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
Woke up this morning to my mom on the phone with my dad saying, "It's probably just your prostate." Reasons to move out. Go.
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
It's like leaving me for his wife wasn't enough. He had to give me an STD too.
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
Favor? Can you not wear as much glitter on your face this time? Walking in the house looking like a disco ball was enough embarrassment for the week 😒
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
I shall relish in being the most basic of bitches
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
Randomize