awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
You proceeded to call me a hoe and then informed me that Bear Grylls is and always will be more important than I am to you.
Totally just asked Dad if I needed to show the real estate guy my tits so he would let us buy the house. I've really got to work on that filtering thing.
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
my roommate just showed up covered in dirt, drunk....with a whole ice cream cake that says "it's a girl".
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
New low reached: a cockroach has actually drowned itself in our dirty dishes. We are heathens. Cleaning dance party tonight. No excuses.
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
Just witnessed some guy throw his fake eye at his dad's face. Actually, he whipped it at him.
AND I NEED A VIKING FUNERAL OR MY GHOST ASS WILL SAUNTER ON OVER AND CASTRATE HIM FOR TECHNICALLY MURDERING ME
Why are you drunk at the library?
Why not?
I woke up under the stretchy sheet like the corners were still stuck under the bed. I had to wiggle the corners off in order to get up. I was trapped. how did that happen
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