I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
Remember how we wr so drunk last nite we cldnt find whr i shot my load? ...found some of it.
They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
I was found on the hood of someone elses car... Who would've thought there were 2 white nissans?
These old people don't even realize they're giving me weed money for shoveling snow.
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
All I remember is that the bartender wouldn't give me scissors cuz I was too drunk
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
The entire time I'm blowing him she's in the back seat lecturing me on the reasons why you're not suppose to do that while they're driving...
I stumbled in at 6am to find my cat in the window making a noise I've never heard her make. When I went to the window there was a goat outside staring at us.
Are you sure? Or did you just think there was a goat?
No there was a goat. I gave it a donut.
I think when Jesus turned water into wine it was a sign that we should get drunk off Sangria tonight. Do it for Jesus. He died for your sins.
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
I feel like captain Morgan put his peg leg up my ass
Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF
Spring cleaning
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