When my options for Friday night are being a 3rd wheel or bringing a gay man as my date i need to focus on other things in life like having a successful career.
dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
only if we run a train.
done.
I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
Fucking that physical therapist guy was the best decision I ever made.
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
Apparently 'ewww' is not the correct response to him saying he has to go to a funeral while I'm there.
My friends got engaged today and I learned the techniques of going upside down on a stripper pole. I'm not really sure who won...
Fuck. I think I can already feel tomorrow's hangover. It's like future me cane back to warn present me about the impending doom but didn't turn the time dial back far enough.
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
Did you get drunk between now and two texts ago?
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
Randomize