I used a bag of wine as a pillow last night.
mrs. f**** your sons in jail, if you can help with bail please respond, if not please dont tell him i told you.
Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
Thanks for stealing lime trees for me at 4:00 am. We're well on our way to having sustainable supplies for mojitos this summer.
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
I think I'm still high. And I definitely still smell like lobster, so there's that
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
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