piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she can't stop having the shits.
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
I cant help but love a girl who informs me of the pregnancy test results by emailing me a YouTube clip of Barney Stinsons not a fathers day speech.
There's cake. And donuts. And strippers. It's like 5 year old me and 20 year old me are throwing a party together...
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
There are 144 bottles of wine in my mother's pantry. She just shrugged her shoulders and said it was for the wine pong tournament on Christmas Day.
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
I just feel like everything is too perfect
He's probably a serial killer or chronic masturbator
Or both. Which is common
It's a fucking menopause festival down here at the strike zone
I don't know if I should feel proud or ashamed of myself...ashamed for making myself a drink at 6:15am or proud for actually being awake that early.
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
Randomize
