I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
I'm wearing this super skanky ass dress that's wayyy to slutty for church but I think Jesus will appreciate it because i look so bangin for his bday.
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
she tossed me in the back of the car and said "god gave u the gift of life and I wanna swallow it"
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
He started to lick a stick of butter and was calling it Jennifer.
Hi please disregard the last text and if you'd like our entire interaction
Done
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
Dick is dick
Look decision making is not my specialty
Which is why I just spent $33 on a breakfast sandwich coffee and hash browns
Randomize
