She's got an ass you could write the declaration of independence on in one line. Takes up three bar stools.
I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
Take this only to mean that we love you, but we're having a serious, half-hour, hypothetical discussion about how far we think we could throw you.
My roommate's all sad and is crying and the chick I want to bang is in the room and Nic Cage is on fire. What the fuck.
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
She said I came to for a minute, shouted IHOP!! and then shook my head and said no before passing out again
Just thought you should know that we coat checked our fairy wings last night. Getting belly up to the bar was way more important that wearing our costumes.
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
Hahahaaa There's this one girl crying hysterically and wrapped around (i believe) her ex's leg. He's trying to shake her off without spilling his beer. This is fucking priceless.
I literally have a bandage on my dick that's how bad she is at handjobs
It's either gonna be a cock in my mouth or a burger. You decide which.
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
His bedroom is the preferred destination of MILFs, cougars, recent divorcees and sexually frustrated wives
His penis is my hero
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