She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
Until last night, I had never actually thrown up ON a sandwich
My right boob is officially about a handful while my left is 1 and 3/4 handfuls. I'm staring at the mirror falling into a deep depression.
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
You weren't just peeing. You were like grinding on it. And you tried to pee in the washing machine first.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK FUCKABLE IN AN ALL NEON SPANDEX JUMPSUIT?
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
Randomize
